"Woke"

Since leaving Oklahoma, I have found myself in these "opened minded" cities if you will. People tend to ask me "where are you from?" I share, and most of the reactions are the same, "oh, so you got out? or "oh no... must've been tough there." Of course this is coming from people that have never been there or they assume they know(which i find it comical when fucks speak on shit they know nothing about). They may be right about some aspects, others completely wrong. But when I found myself in these "woke cities" these liberal hubs... i found the people to be the exact same if not worse than those from the south or midwest. Never did i think i would be in San Francisco and feel the same type of "get out of here nigger!" that i felt well... everywhere. Shit makes no sense. People pretend to be open... but are they? Are you?

It use to bother me more when i got here(The West) cause i didn't expect it... for in the "red states" it is expected... but in Los Angeles, i mean i knew a little about this town but since i've been here crash course in "What are YOU doing here?" "Niggers don't kombucha... get out of our health food store that is in a part of town that some shady shit might have happened. Let's see the places i've been... Berkley can go fuck it's self, San Francisco even though i like it... still go fuck yourself... I mean Seattle i kinda figured what i was getting into... The Good Ol' Pacific northwest. The White Safe Haven... but still weird, It felt a lot like Get Out. For people to claim they are that open and free... well they are not! Only open to what they deem acceptable... which in most cases is white skin and people that abandoned their culture to behave like them. Shit is irritating... But as this very intelligent 15 year old girl says "Well, what you gonna do?" I'll talk about it... that's what i'm gonna do. How many times can one speak of this? The shit doesn't seem to be changing... 

Am I to expect this in every city in America? I know the answer but damn... That's some shit. I remember having a conversation with these older dudes about travel and he asked "don't you find yourself losing your perspective the more you travel" and i didn't answer him right away. I sat there and thought on it. A lingering question... The answer being, No. For most places i travel in this country... these cities. I am not welcomed unless there is a buffer with me and by a buffer. A woman who of lighter skin town to vouch for me. Welcome to the 50s. The only people that seem to approach me with openness are those from other countries, or people who are living on the street. I almost prefer to talk to them for they have lived outside of what is deemed normal... some by choice others(most) not so much. 

I can say what i have learned in this town... This City of Angels... Lost Souls... I learned this place it not my home. I knew that 6 weeks after being here. Now, i am to figure out if Oklahoma is my home... only time will tell.. I don't consider Venice LA... so... who knows... 

MERP

Death In The Valley Pt Un

       It was 12:26 in the after noon on March 3rd when i sent the message "Might you have any caps you could toss my way." Then ten minutes later i sent a message that said " Actually, I am good." but I would be a fucking liar if i said i did not want to get some mushrooms and walk off in to the desert to be alone with the stillness of a valley of nothingness whilst filled with everything. This trip to Death Valley was sponsored by alcohol, caffeine and adrenaline. I should've got the fucking mushrooms, but then that would've altered the trip(haaaa trip.)

Too Much fucking caffeine, i should find another substance to abuse.

       We left Victorville around 10:45 pm in a Ford Raptor to head to where we were going to meet up with the other folks of this weekend of adventure. When I say we, this includes NoBS a native fellow who stands about 5'8" and built to fuck shit up, as in you probably would not want to get on his bad side for the nigga could probably end your shit with the quickness and he was a Marine as well so, yeah, shit would be ended, the other fellow Checkers was a bigger fellow standing about 6'2 and about three bills. We drove three hours no music just conversation and me drifting off in to my head from time to time. We stopped at a small gas station in the middle of who the fuck knows it made me feel like I was back in the country, familiar feelings of unknown people and a different way of life, NoBS filled up the the truck and Fuel Canisters as Checkers and myself ventured inside to see a pitbull just chillin on the floor like "y'all niggas look as if you need caffeine and beef jerky" i was obviously projecting. I don't know why the pit sitting there threw me for a loop, when I am currently in a city where Fucks ask to bring their dogs in restaurants and get upset when denied. But the Pit in a small gas station in the middle of somewhere made so much sense, but it didn't. I'm sure the little old white haired lady behind the counter had a shotgun she knows how to handle along with a handgun. Made me feel like i was home, but she was not with me. We load up and leave.      
       

        We come to a dirt road some time between 1 a.m. and 2 a.m. there was a vehicle waiting with an L.E.D Light stripe on the top and a lights on waiting for us. We pull up and the words that I can make out are "Just ride my bumper as close as possible and keep up." I could see a beer can in his hand and NoBS said something i can not remember what and the response from the female passenger was "JUST DO IT YOU PUSSY!" and they took off down a gravel road kicking up rocks and dust. These niggas were hauling ass which was impressive but I was in the back seat of the truck like "the fuck, how are we suppose to see" but it was simple enough just follow the fucking road... It is a good thing we did not ride the bumper up the back road which was filled with sharp turns and  rock faces on both sides but after ten to twenty minutes of driving UP the winding mountain pass we arrived at Campsite number 1. Which was open, nothing to block the wind except the two vehicles, but if you're going to camp, well you can not be a bitch and complain about the weather. If you're going to bitch about the weather then life must be great (i mean it is but really?) you just deal with it and have another glass of wine and look up at the night sky as the fire dances and provides you with all the warmth you need. 

        We start to unload the Raptor, I grab my tent which is rated for four people but i enjoy my space and the air mattress had to fit so.(i'll invest in a smaller one soon). I toss it on the ground and introduce myself to the Co-pilot of the 4-Runner, she reminded me of a lady i use to know very well back in  Oklahoma City, a lady in which we shared some great nights, some fueled by alcohol, cocaine and LSD, but that is another story. The Co-Pilot seem to have some native features to me and at this point of the morning she was anti-sober her name is K-Dot, The driver of the 4-runner was locked in Conversation with NoBS so I took to setting up my temporary dwelling for the night. Whilst setting up  up, I hear a voice say "What's the story on this one?" NoBS says "ask him yourself." the driver of the 4-Runner was a thin fellow with eyes that said "yo, i have seen some shit and have been through some shit." he too, was a Marine named Crash. i struggle to set the tent up do to the rock in which i was attempting to hammer the stakes through. A few moments later the tent was set up, mattress aired up and it was time for some sort of intoxication. There were plenty of options, Gentlemen Jack, coors, reds and of course a bottle of Merlot. I grabbed the Merlot and started to indulged. I stood by the fire and looked up and said "Damn I should brought some shrooms" to which K-Dot responded with "HELL YEAH!" the conversation danced with the fire. NoBs recommended i go to the top of the hill to get away from the fire and look up, i grabbed the Nikon and did so, then It was time  for sleep.

    I was awoken by the roar of an engine, the words "oh fuck" just came so naturally out of my mouth as i climbed out the slipping bag to see that i was not being left and NoBS was just warming his truck(his tent.) Crash and K-Dot were already up. He proceeded to make fun of me for lack of damage i did not do to the wine bottle. The Earth was rotating so the "sunrise" was a few minutes away and i was finally able to check out the surroundings and see how high up we actually were, thousands of feet were climbed on that night drive. Below there was a town, it looked tiny, like a town for ants, there was a lake off in the distance which looked to be surrounded by salt flats and on the far side of the valley  a mountain range for as far as the eye could see. Where we were posted up had a very hills have eyes vibe and there were mines around but who gives a shit about a inbred hill person when there is a view like that. We Pack up after coffee and wine( NoBS and Checkers help polish off the bottle before the drive) and head towards an old mining town called Cerro Gordo Ghost Town, which was i do not know how many more thousands or hundreds of feet of elevation. 

   As we rounded the bend, the gravel road slowly became a gravel and snow covered road as we pull up to the Ghost Town which is watched by an old man on the mountain by the name of Robert. He told us the history of the mining town, took us from building to building to building in the general store there was a wood burning stove which caught my attention, it still had plenty of life left in it. It Was built to last, funny the things that people notice, like what speaks to you.  We then ventured to another building where the snow came to midcalf if you broke the top layer, then to the hotel. I could try to explain this hotel but I'll allow the photos to do the talking. Robert told us of how he got snowed in for fourteen days before, part of me wonders what that feels like and the other part is like you know what, i think i am god on that experience, maybe one day i'll venture to a mountain town like Flagstaff for a winter and get snowed in with mushrooms. We helped Robert unload his truck in exchange for some fired wood. Then attempted to set off on another pass, within the first hundred feet the 4-Runner got stuck it was the snow had grabbed his tires and said "nigga you ain't going nowhere!"....

Part Un.... The introduction