Since leaving Oklahoma, I have found myself in these "opened minded" cities if you will. People tend to ask me "where are you from?" I share, and most of the reactions are the same, "oh, so you got out? or "oh no... must've been tough there." Of course this is coming from people that have never been there or they assume they know(which i find it comical when fucks speak on shit they know nothing about). They may be right about some aspects, others completely wrong. But when I found myself in these "woke cities" these liberal hubs... i found the people to be the exact same if not worse than those from the south or midwest. Never did i think i would be in San Francisco and feel the same type of "get out of here nigger!" that i felt well... everywhere. Shit makes no sense. People pretend to be open... but are they? Are you?
It use to bother me more when i got here(The West) cause i didn't expect it... for in the "red states" it is expected... but in Los Angeles, i mean i knew a little about this town but since i've been here crash course in "What are YOU doing here?" "Niggers don't kombucha... get out of our health food store that is in a part of town that some shady shit might have happened. Let's see the places i've been... Berkley can go fuck it's self, San Francisco even though i like it... still go fuck yourself... I mean Seattle i kinda figured what i was getting into... The Good Ol' Pacific northwest. The White Safe Haven... but still weird, It felt a lot like Get Out. For people to claim they are that open and free... well they are not! Only open to what they deem acceptable... which in most cases is white skin and people that abandoned their culture to behave like them. Shit is irritating... But as this very intelligent 15 year old girl says "Well, what you gonna do?" I'll talk about it... that's what i'm gonna do. How many times can one speak of this? The shit doesn't seem to be changing...
Am I to expect this in every city in America? I know the answer but damn... That's some shit. I remember having a conversation with these older dudes about travel and he asked "don't you find yourself losing your perspective the more you travel" and i didn't answer him right away. I sat there and thought on it. A lingering question... The answer being, No. For most places i travel in this country... these cities. I am not welcomed unless there is a buffer with me and by a buffer. A woman who of lighter skin town to vouch for me. Welcome to the 50s. The only people that seem to approach me with openness are those from other countries, or people who are living on the street. I almost prefer to talk to them for they have lived outside of what is deemed normal... some by choice others(most) not so much.
I can say what i have learned in this town... This City of Angels... Lost Souls... I learned this place it not my home. I knew that 6 weeks after being here. Now, i am to figure out if Oklahoma is my home... only time will tell.. I don't consider Venice LA... so... who knows...
MERP