Snippet from The Photobook of California: The Soul Eaters

For the longest I thought most of the people in Los Angeles were soulless beings just wondering about. That's cause I spent most my time on the westside. Closer to the ocean. People that would come in and remove those who once lived there, because they "loved" the vibe of the neighborhood. They wanted it for themselves but all they did was ruin it...

​Venice. A place I Love. A place I will call it home even though it was temporary. I found Love from a beautiful Soul who is a hemisphere away. Fake love from these wack ass hippes buying into the new age bullshit. A sense of adventure when looking out over the ocean wondering "what are those niggas doing over there.” and what do i need to be on a boat in the middle of that.

I’ve also seen the cops harass people who don’t have shit. People that would give you looks like you don’t belong here when there is an ocean within view. I’ve seen a dude have guns pulled on him, stubbled across the aftermath of a knife attack. Just shit that sticks with you, and a simple walk to Whole Foods turned into the worst night of someone elses life and i just stood there like “how is this real?”

But, it's been changing in the short time i have been here, the soulless invade, buying up property, making it the same as every other place. The Hate is real… If you don’t look like them, talk like them or adapt… They want you gone. You Could have been their your whole life, but that doesn’t matter… You’re out! Cause you’re less than…

The Soulless seem to be more of Soul Eating Zombies...

"you don't want to be in Chucky Cheese when the lights go off" -Crockett

When I was Painting The Mural in Anaheim, this couple stopped and talked to me for awhile. The lady was from Russia(with love) her husband a Black dude from the states. She said “Do you want to know what we call white americans in Russia?” Of course I did. “We call the popcorn, they taste good, but have very little substance.” I laughed. I laughed really fucking hard! then said “Word” her husband chimed in and said “But now, the Popcorn comes in many different flavors.”

"Woke"

Since leaving Oklahoma, I have found myself in these "opened minded" cities if you will. People tend to ask me "where are you from?" I share, and most of the reactions are the same, "oh, so you got out? or "oh no... must've been tough there." Of course this is coming from people that have never been there or they assume they know(which i find it comical when fucks speak on shit they know nothing about). They may be right about some aspects, others completely wrong. But when I found myself in these "woke cities" these liberal hubs... i found the people to be the exact same if not worse than those from the south or midwest. Never did i think i would be in San Francisco and feel the same type of "get out of here nigger!" that i felt well... everywhere. Shit makes no sense. People pretend to be open... but are they? Are you?

It use to bother me more when i got here(The West) cause i didn't expect it... for in the "red states" it is expected... but in Los Angeles, i mean i knew a little about this town but since i've been here crash course in "What are YOU doing here?" "Niggers don't kombucha... get out of our health food store that is in a part of town that some shady shit might have happened. Let's see the places i've been... Berkley can go fuck it's self, San Francisco even though i like it... still go fuck yourself... I mean Seattle i kinda figured what i was getting into... The Good Ol' Pacific northwest. The White Safe Haven... but still weird, It felt a lot like Get Out. For people to claim they are that open and free... well they are not! Only open to what they deem acceptable... which in most cases is white skin and people that abandoned their culture to behave like them. Shit is irritating... But as this very intelligent 15 year old girl says "Well, what you gonna do?" I'll talk about it... that's what i'm gonna do. How many times can one speak of this? The shit doesn't seem to be changing... 

Am I to expect this in every city in America? I know the answer but damn... That's some shit. I remember having a conversation with these older dudes about travel and he asked "don't you find yourself losing your perspective the more you travel" and i didn't answer him right away. I sat there and thought on it. A lingering question... The answer being, No. For most places i travel in this country... these cities. I am not welcomed unless there is a buffer with me and by a buffer. A woman who of lighter skin town to vouch for me. Welcome to the 50s. The only people that seem to approach me with openness are those from other countries, or people who are living on the street. I almost prefer to talk to them for they have lived outside of what is deemed normal... some by choice others(most) not so much. 

I can say what i have learned in this town... This City of Angels... Lost Souls... I learned this place it not my home. I knew that 6 weeks after being here. Now, i am to figure out if Oklahoma is my home... only time will tell.. I don't consider Venice LA... so... who knows... 

MERP

I'm deleting this when i wake up

Half the time... i don't know what World i'm walking in. I mean, i know but i don't... Am i here, am i not.  Do you see me or am i just floating around but the thing is, being invisible grants you a type of free that is hard to be put in words.  Sometimes i want to ask people "yo! are you seeing this shit?" but it is not for them if they aren't am i even to be talking about it... That is the real question. I have in a painting so why not in words... is it because words make things clear? or do they just muddle things in a far different way, everything seems to be a conflict but why? The dilemma... and i know why part of the conflict is there. It will be dealt with sooner than later. 

I asked a friend Crockett, "what happens if you get addicted to the unknown?" and his reaction was well, not for me to share for you weren't there. But after that convo, i saw a look in his eyes, and i was like "Word, I See You!" 

I did comedy tonight, it has been some time... but before that, the day started with picking up dog shit. Not my favorite thing to do nor the worst thing i have done. The worst working jobs that i know i am wasting away... the day started with a message from an artist... Bruce Leroy, from the name you think it was a nigga... (i'll leave you hanging, is race important) but he told me about the east la art walk, all i was gonna do was sit on my ass and think about shit. The table and all the art was already in the car so i just went... i checked it out. it was cool, but it was not the place for me to be... Compton, Watts and Leimert Park were calling., the plan was to drive by Leimert Park see how it was then go to Compton to check out the popup... then go chill at the Watts Towers. But That did not happen.... i stayed in Leimert Park. 

I parked, and i was crutching down the street and this dude looked at me and he said something about "i am excited for you to heal! and with what you're doing is a great rehab."  But there was something in his eyes... I've seen it before. And i wonder if anyone else saw it. if not, it wasn't for them to see... i have seen this look in a few peoples eyes and all i can say is "Word! I see you!" i checked out a little bit of the scene, not as much as i should have, you know cause crutches ain't exactly the way to be getting around. 

Back at the car i started setting up my art and this dude rode by on a bike and looked at the art then me and said "drive slow homie" and i said "always" just the natural response, or programmed response... now isn't that a mind fuck, a programmed response...
                             "hi, how are you?"
                              "i am good"
Now are you really good or is that the programming... but i thought about it, Slow down, the slow down... even when the ankle happened i thought cool, i get to slow down. But will i... I do not have a choice.... The fuck am i rushing for anyway... when you're fucking, having sex, making love... are you in a rush? nope, so why rush the process... why rush this. That's stupid, dumb as fuck, and i can say i have been dumb as fuck. Even though i learn from most of my mistakes, some are just fun making, so is it truly a mistake then.  "Drive slow homie"  

Are You Free?

A Brief Look Into Comedy...

Where do begin? That is the real question... I honestly do not know. Do i start with how i use to want to fuck people up out here... Los Angeles that is when i first arrived or do i skip ahead. Where did the aggression come from? I am usually pretty chill, very chill. But there was something about these so called "Hollywood niggas" that rubbed me the wrong way... that term is far beyond hollywood, but i know what when i see one. I remember when i first arrived something in me said do not do jokes at some of these places but i did it anyway. Cause i loved that shit... i spoke of doing DMT with two dogs in the room, getting pulled over with leaving Arizona, and so on... only to hear other mother fuckers get on stage and do it at other venues... and i was like WOW... one nigga even did the shit in front of my face and i just sat there like cool... "i know who you are." One dude even sent me a message saying "yo. i fucked up and stepped on your material." and i was like cool... did it work? and we left it at that, the fact that he reached out to say something was like alright. Not everyone is a vampire. But i can not point the finger then not look at myself. I would be a  fucking liar if i said i haven't been influenced by others before...  oh shit... I remember i had this one joke about fecal transplants and when i got bak to La i heard this dude doing it... damn near word for word, i am not calling him anything, for he is damn funny but the way I felt when i got back to town was well... made me want to fuck shit up... where to go from here.

I remember going on a trip up north with a comedian to see the eclipse, and we started talking comedy, and i was saying "sometimes, a complete joke could come out of now where from just the drive." and her reaction was like "no, that is impossible." or that is how i took it from her following statements. I can say being alone on the road is, traveling from place to place... alone with your thoughts and the open road in opens a new way of thinking and to assume that all people are like you and may have your limitations like you do well... odd. I tend to think people are more capable of what they are doing and when i hear them say they can't i then usually think "oh... you truly don't believe in yourself" or in short fuck off. 

I stopped watching comedy specials for the most part i do care what they are doing but I do not. I have my own shit to worry about. I stopped writing comedy unless it is in a painting, now i just get up and talk, if it is funny cool, if not, well then it was not for you. All I know is I am not about to be made uncomfortable by a bunch of comedians that probably couldn't walk a day in some of the shoes of the people I have had conversations with in this town. 

One time i was at this place downtown Los Angeles, The Lexington... and a few comics were talking about the greats in hip-hop and all i could think is "why do you niggas care so much? why not worry about yourself instead worrying about who is who and who is doing what" so i got up and left... i believe that is when i semi checked out of the los angeles comedy scene. i remember the first or second time i went up at The Hollywood Improv i said "you know, Hollywood isn't the world, los angeles is not the world" but to some people it is... and to you Do your thing i am not here to knock you and i wish you all the success you desire... 

Oh i can say at one point after being here for a bit i started to question myself such as am i becoming one of these niggas? am i going to act like i am friends with someone just to get a head... nah... so i removed myself from those circles and getting back to me. Roaming the city with the cameras, creating, randomly popping up to share a story or two at a mic or show and planning the world tour. Well i'll see you when i see you.... 

enjoy some out of context photographs... 

just another day at the beach.

 People usually ask me what have i been up to i just sit there and look at them "like what the fuck you think i've been up too"...Living is the answer.  I can say i wake up happy 99% of the time. and i get it. "well if i were on a beach i'd be happy too!" Well, dumb fuck voice i made up... it ain't that simple, cause if it were everybody fuckin would be doing it, and there would be a lot more mother fuckers getting stabbed and what not. The places i've been in this town the shit i have seen and i still have not seen everything. I have done shit in this town that i said i wouldn't do... like eating shrooms in hollywood and lsd a few weeks ago with Beck at a "burning man shindig" which i must admit, that party was not for me, i am sure the playa is nothing like that but you know what i'll talk about that shit another time.

Do you know what it's like to see where a person was stabbed? Stabbed! bled out and cleaned up not even 24 hours later as tourist walk right over that spot as if nothing happened ? It's fucking weird! and i do not say that much. The blood stained cement "cleaned" nothing to indicate "yo... someones last breathe happened here! right fucking here! As some french fuck enjoys a churro. 

5-21-2018

I usually post up on thorton ave on the board walk right in front of the old snapchat office. (fuck snapchat). I was talking to Crocket and when he dipped out i said "be safe" i usually do not say that but the night had a vibe quiet unlike any other night in Venice, and i can tell you Venice always has an interesting energy to it. The life guard vehicle was hauling ass down the beach towards Santa Monica(fuck that place) on some Bay Watch type shit if you will.  i snapped a photo of it, and on the boardwalk instead of the usual one cop per thirty minutes in a vehicle, three passed in a matter of five minutes and i thought yeah, maybe get the fuck out of dodge for a bit. so i did.

A coffee shop, a self love session aka beating off in my car, a nap, and a interesting ride with a stranger. I got back to Venice and it was about  00:45 and i was trying to decide... do i go to sleep or do i see what i can see. And I heard this Johns voice(Brooklyn accent) "yo, you wanna see some weird shit walk around here at 3 am... you'll see some shit." and i thought nigga... "NO! you want to see some weird shit get lost in San Francisco or walk around West Hollywood at three in the am. you will see some shit!"  I grabbed the newest camera a canon, which happened to be a gift from a friend.(i don't know what it is about Canons but people just give the to me... must say something about canons)

 Walking down main st  towards sunset court. When i noticed an Opossum sitting on a fence watching me as i watched it. At first it seemed odd, out of place then it felt ominous as if there were something just out of sight behind it. i walked back in forth as the Opossums head followed me as it were a pendulum, swaying back and forth, which again seemed odd cause i thought these dudes had bad eyesight, might this be the only Opossum with 15/20 vision. Wondering "why is this dude walking like that" ...

i walked down the board walk examining all the people that were on it. A  lady and what i can only assume was her bitchmade boyfriend were wandering a bit before he decided to venture back to safety, she soon followed whicha dude shuffling around looking for cigarettes and who knows what in the sand. 

When i came across the scene of a crime, instinct said "get to high ground" so i did. the first thing that caught my eye were the three blood stains. the start, middle and end. At this time this fellow named Rick had came up next to me and said "that amount of blood they are probably dead..."  i asked him how often does shit like this happen he shrugged and said more than people know. i looked back at the blood and the cops that were there. There were no news crews, no media of any type to say "hey before you come down to Venice this memorial day weekend just know someone was stabbed... enjoy the churro and beach." But you can not allow fear to dictate what you do, i just found it odd no one was there... well except Rick, myself and the cops.

i walked back to my car after seeing this and passed the fuck out after taking a few more photos... the next morning i woke and went to set up on my usual spot... and i felt conflicted for about two hours... somebody was fucking murdered, and i am here creating art. i saw the blood with my own eyes and i am here painting... what does that say about me?

Lessons...

“What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned?”

That’s what she asked me as i stood outside and she sat on the curb looking up at me. “What is the biggest lesson you learned”  and that’s what keeps playing over and over in my head. Such a simple question but it could be complex. Biggest lesson i’ve learned… well, it’s not about me. Just be… oh don’t be a fuckin asshole(i struggle with that from time to time), Be Original! don't be derivative cause what's the fucking point,  just be chill, I was humbled… not once but twice at a bar in Oklahoma City last night… I knew i shouldn’t have gone up but i did, and oh it was all bad… just pure shit… ego all fucking ego, I didn’t even like that dude that was on the fuckng mic. Last night is one of those nights to where i should’ve been hit in the face… not once but twice and i would’ve thought to myself “had that coming”. Then afterward i came home and looked at some film and was like, oh these shots are dope. Then i looked again and thought “well, actually they’re complete fucking shit! It’s the process, right? I had a friend come up to me tonight after The Divine Comedy Show at the 51St Speakeasy and said “you’re photography game is way better than your comedy game.” Looked me dead in my eyes and said it… and i was like “well… i can’t get mad cause i know you’re right.”

When i prepare the way i should, and just be… things just flow… they flow oh so proper, but as of late i get these eggs… these little sparks and they just sit there and  I’ll think, “oh that would be funny if i actually put in that work.” but… i just get up there and see what comes out. Sometimes oh it is a blast other times well…  i look blankly off into space and mutter “i should write a joke...it’s been awhile.”  I should crack that egg and see what i actually cook up. I mean you don’t help anyone that doesn’t help themselves. One of the last days i was in California i saw a dude broke down not even attempting to move his shit, just sitting there. It was a Volkswagen Thing red with plate that red So Soul… lifted a bit… nice ride, but the nigga just sat there trying to start it… at some point logic dictates that you, get the fuck out and push. Me being in a good mood and just downing a coffee i didn’t fucking need i had the energy and the time… but i heard the voice… “Don’t help this nigga!” but i did, we pushed his shit over to the side. The dude didn’t even look me in my eyes, didn’t say thank you, just was like whatever nigga… and i was like i should’ve left that fuck in that intersection… But i said that to say this, i’m being that dude by not crafting my shit, sure i can bullshit on a mic but what’s beyond the bullshitting? Where is the fucking point of view. Most of all… where is the fucking PUNCHLINE...So, i’m getting out of myself and pushing this shit… what the fuck else i got to do? Besides get better and go get weird with the assistance of lsd?

I know what i need to do but i just keep self sabotaging. Some people are looking at me like “you still haven’t learned?” you can’t just show up… you have to SHOW UP… so With that being said, i have a painting to start, a short i have to write( even though my gut said no, but i said i would so i have too.) and some eggs i’ve got to turn into some omelets, but not just any omelet…

“What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned?”

Nigga get over yourself… Get the fuck out your own way… and this shit is bigger than me. It’s not about me.  The things you learn... and relearn.. until you actually use what the fuck you've learned.

Maker's Mark and A Laptop

Maker’s Mark and a Laptop…

Currently, I’m in Victorville, gazing at this laptop, listening to a movie as i debate on if I should sip this whiskey, Maker's Mark. It’s really not a debate. For i know i will drink it and the pour myself a little more. Oh How i use to love me some whiskey. When i say use to i mean, i still do i just have a little more self control. Nowadays it’s mostly WIne of the red variety that tickles my sack. A month or two back i went to a comedy show which was at a house in the hills, i was greeted by a beautiful woman with dark hair whose bangs ran perfectly across her forehead after the greeting and small talk she offered me some scotch, at first i turned it down. Then i looked at the view and thought “well nigga… when in rome you drink scotch and watch the sun set” So i did. It was a foray back to the whiskey days. The days of Let me get a mustache tattooed on my middle finger cause i am a fucking Gentleman. So when i give you the finger you can see that it was from a classy fellow. Far from that i am now, or am i? As i sip the whiskey. What story would you like to hear next, i have many. Don’t we all though. 

I could speak of the last time i did LSD in OKC with my Boy Phil, I could write about the last time i did DMT in the Wichita Wildlife Preserve or the first time. I could talk about the Whiskey and Coke days. Those were some dark days, filled with cocaine, late nights, random ladies. You know the shit that some would consider fun. I mean sure it was fun to a point but when you start doing lines and passing out, or when you see the sun come up so many times in the non-fun way, you have to have that moment with yourself when you’re like “c’mon son what the fuck am i doing?” some people never ask themselves that. Oh The Next story is up to you… that is if i do not have to drive back to Oklahoma to get all my identification, cause my incredibly smart ass left my wallet at the cinema and they can’t seem to find it. So tomorrow i find out, also can you tell I've been sipping whiskey?

October 2nd

The choices are

Candy Flipping the night Anderson Silva got knocked out

Shrooms and Shotguns

A summer of love and complete Freedom

DMT for the first time

DMT the Last Time

The Incredibly Open minded folks of LA (ha note that open minded)

Whiskey & Coke

Shrooms and Shot Guns

Love(fuck you if you pick this)

Just know i’m gonna do whatever the fuck i want. I just don’t want to end up back in oklahoma just yet, although there is a documentary to be made. But I have shit to do out here. I hope they find the wallet.

I woke up, as stories often forget to add. I woke up and decided i am done being broke. I was to jump out of a plane this weekend but it was more than i had, i mean i could’ve did the Tandem jump, but i refuse to jump out of plane with a dude strapped to my back. I signed up to take the class and now it’ll have to wait. I remember being back in Oklahoma City and on LSD with my friend Parsons. We were at a bar with some people and as i was walking through it it was like walking back through time it was almost like being in medieval times but not quite, i walked through just examining everything and feeling the energy of the place. With each step i was looking back hundreds of years the progressing to the future. I even remember the bartender upstairs of the establishment which at the time was Pink Cadillac now it’s pink parrot but to me it will always be known as pink cadillac. But the bartender upstairs, bro! She had long dark hair, a natural chest that would make the rockies jealous and these green eyes that well they didn’t look through me but damn. I would have like to have known her, but i had shit to do. I also have shit to do.

Parsons and i left the bar and the walk proceeded as i talked about life in a way i often do but never do. We came to the canal… OKC’s version of the river walk which is in San Antonio. And I looked at the water and it almost looked as if it could be well… that’s for me. I said to Parson’s “I am a _________  dollar industry” the question is do i still feel that same way? the answer is yes and no… but again. I am sick of being broke. Do i honestly give a fuck about money like that? Again the answer is yes and no. Fuck You Money so i can create what i need to create and if only you could see it what is in my head, but that party is for me and me only until i decide to share. But this is where i leave you that bottle of makers is calling my name. The Tower awaits… until next time, and pick what story you want to read.

Donate

What Are You Doing Here...

Write drunk edit sober, that’s the old adage right? Well it’s 10:52 on Sunday morning… writing drunk is not something i would like to do at the moment. Maybe some cannabis or a cap. Never written on a mushroom before. That has nothing to do with what is to be told. Yesterday i was out in Pico Rivera, mostly hispanic town, well from what i notice only saw two white folks, so naturally i liked it. But i saw what looked like an abandoned bar with a dirt parking lot wedged in between two houses. My first gut instinct was to take a photograph but i didn’t, instead i pulled out this here laptop hopped on the trunk and proceeded to write. A few minutes after writing what i could call complete shit. I heard the screen door to the house next to me open then shut, If it were any other part of the country i would expect to hear a harsh “what are you doing here!! This is private property!” it has happened before.

I was just driving around aimlessly with the cameras just seeing what i could see when i saw a dilapidated building with “DO NOT TRESPASS” and “Private Property” signs stapled all over the building, that usually doesn’t stop me, but at this particular moment in time it did cause there was a road that lead somewhere i have never been. I parked the car off to the side of the building. (note: always back in, just in case you have to get the fuck outta dodge) I grabbed my cameras and set off down the road. It was a beautiful day, the clouds looked as if the could be plucked right from the sky and tossed in a bag of candy cotton. In other words it was a great day for some fucking photography and exploration. I walked down the gravel road. I had the nikon on one shoulder the AE-1 on the other and i can not remember if the k1000 was with me or not. I walked passed a thicket(2 dollar word) of trees which then exposed a gravel road of abandoned trailers and houses. A fucking field day! I proceeded to walk down the street, observing which ones should be captured and which ones should be left alone. I came across one that seem to be a old farm type house.. Or what's the word maybe a depression era? I don’t know but it got down and took a few photos and kept in moving. I was nearing the end of the dirt road, and the last house(trailer) on the left had a green early 90s’ F-150 in the driveway in front of it. This house was occupied.

I got down on a knee to snap a photo of all the trailers and houses in one shot, When i heard “HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!” i looked over calmly and held up the camera not saying a thing. “THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY!” i said cool got up slowly and proceeded to walk back down the gravel road of abandonment. I should add i was wearing Jordan 3s’(house shoes) black joggers and a Nike hoody and at the time i had a nappy fro… the picture is painted. I hope. I heard the screen door slam open once again, i still just kept walking and i heard the woman's voice bellow one more time “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!!” again i just kept walking the door slammed.  And a few moments later it opened again, i was expecting to hear the sound of a gun go off and nothing else, but instead i heard the sound of a vehicle door opening and closing. Then the distinct roar of an a V-8 engine(oh what a lovely fucking sound!) not looking back i just kept it moving i know what it sounds like peeling out on gravel, as the engine roar got louder and louder i was now at my car and so was the truck. It was a kid driving the truck, i want to say about seventeen years old or so. “Hey what are you doing out here!” i could hear the fear in his voice, shit i could feel it. “just taking some photos man” “FOR WHAT?!?” “myself” i said as i opened my car door. “I’m gonna need your license plate number or i’m calling the cops.” without a hesitation i said “call the cops” which at the time was not a good time for a nigga to be saying call the cops. But i’ll be damned if i let some fuck take down my plate number go do who knows what and then say i did it.  

He pulled out his phone and called the police and hearing his perspective of what i was doing, well it was halarious once again but it wasn’t i just sat there and thought to myself “this nigga.” But since the cops where coming and i figured it would take anywhere from five to thirty minutes i first thought well i should ditch the hoody and secondly, if i’m going to be waiting i might as well get my sketchbook out and work on my craft. I hopped up on the trunk of the car and proceeded to draw a bit and do a snapchat story every so often. I can not remember if it were a county sheriff that pulled up or an oklahoma city police car. It was on Sooner rd right next to that place called Sooner Corral or what ever the fuck it is, on the east side of the road. But the Officer of the Law pulled up and and the kid rushed up to him to tell his side of the encounter, i looked up, to acknowleged the cop and then went back to my sketchbook. Looking at the officer i would say he was somewhere around my age. Then he said “well you can tell he is an Artist, he is sitting there drawing” the cop then asked me to explain my side. The no tresspassing signs are on this partictular building nowhere else. So i thought don’t fuck with that building, the Fellow in the uniform scanned the building the dirt road and nodded his head. Then he told the kid if you don’t want people on your propertyy you have to have it to where it is noticable. Then the Uniformed fellow and myself talked about photography for a few minutes before setting off on my way.

It is an energy transaction if that woman would’ve came out and said “hey, this is private property.” or came with a different level more calm shit could’ve been different. I could’ve ended up bartering a painting for her allowing me to explore “her land” but it didn’t go down that way. I get it though. I don’t know what fucking meth heads she has to deal with out there. I don’t know what happened. Who is coming trying to buy up their land for Development purposes. I just don’t know.  

I was sitting on the car in Pico Rivera when the screen door opened ans shut, i looked over and it was a shorter latino fellow, wearing a 49ers shirt and using a cane. He did not look that old to be using a cane but I don’t know how hard of a life he has lived. He waved me over. “What are you doing here?” he asked in a soft voice “you’re not one of those real estate guys are you?” i laughed and asked if i looked like one “no! The owner just asked me to keep in eye on his property.” This sparked my interest “are people coming out here trying to buy your land?” he nodded, Damn… when does it end? It’s a cycle. The way someone broke it down for me was, First the wealthy want to be on the outskirts of town then they move far out and once others start moving far out and the prices drop in the city well the move back to the city driving the prices back up forcing people out and again then once people start moving back in they go back out… the cycle… And it Always follows the ___.

Well this is where i leave you once again. I must go now, jokes are to be told today. I met a fellow artist who use to live in Downtown LA when it was “unsafe” and she said “there were no coffee shops at all! Just a bunch of abandoned warehouses and lofts that we lived in.” She Also Advised me to “Go Big.” the market shouldn’t dictate Art. So That’s what i will do… Until next time.

Show Some Love If you Enjoy

Just Another Day.... Saturday...

I woke in my car around 7:30, on a street i was not familiar, and i can say i was in a mood that was less than pleasant.  But i was to get my hair cut this day, you know to knock the homeless look off of me. To explain what’s about to happen, when i first moved here, i started doing lyft, which quite honestly i fucking hated, but i met some cool people so that was dope, I met an artist by the name of Buckley who shared a book with me and told me of Mexico City, i met a lady from China who was attending UCLA that invited me to her presentation on the Qin, i learned a lot that day, and I wrote down a quote to this day i still use i bet you want to know the Quote, i may or may not give in. But i met this fellow who told me he was a barber, we proceeded to chop it up, and he told me of the grind. I got his number, cause i knew my black ass would soon be looking like i belonged in the woods, which i must say is kinda true.

The first time i went to get my hair cut by him, i had to drive to south central, and he pulled a stool out on his porch and had the setup, i sat there as he made me look like a respectable human being, it was dope. I had never had an experience of that nature, i was use to being in a barber shop, niggas talking shit about shit, or my old barber’s wife cracking mad jokes about life. I remember once Mrs. Corey did about 30 minutes on bad kids… The shit was funny as i was sitting there in the chair trying not to move from laughter, it was like she was saying “yeah, i got this shit” then mic drop… but i was on a porch in south central la watching a pit take a shit in the yard across the street. DOPE, The Second time, well let’s just say if you’re bitchmade or smart, you probably wouldn’t venture to this place but i did, his exact directions were “wait in your car till i get there” i must’ve just glossed over that in the text cause i called him when i was standing outside of the address, this spot, well it was a little more hood(if you will) and i was just chillin on the fence like i owned the fucking street, and there were three niggas chillin in the driveway next to me, one of whom was in a G-35 and the other two (skinny niggas) were leaning against it. As i sat there playing chess with friends and checking the surroundings every few minutes one of the skinny niggas walked by me and i could tell he was sizing me up, he had a wild look in his eye, a look of rage, a look i know well. If felt as if the alpha of the pack sent him to test me, but i could give a fuck, i sat there and said “what’s up” and went back to my phone. Marcus, the barber pulled up a few minutes later and he was like “nigga i told you to wait in your car” to which i was like “oh...okay” but that was the second time. This last time, we met back up on that familiar porch and again, the set up was…. Set up. And he proceeded to trim the beard as a skinny nigga sauntered out of the house and sat down in a lawn chair and proceeded to talk about how high he had gotten last night, it was funny shit, then the conversation morphed to him talking about cops just waiting to fuck him up for no reason… it was funny, cause it wasn’t funny! You had to have been there, but after all that talk her proceeded to ask for another blunt as if the night before didn’t happen, Entertaining it  was… little did i know that police shit would come back up for me later that day.

I ventured down to the Watts Towers it was now about 10:30 or 11 am some time around then, and upon arrival(proper as fuck huh?) I learned that it was the 36th Watts Drum Festival, i had no clue it was going on, my gut just said go there and explore. So i did, i sat by a small drum circle and started drawing and a lady and her child came up and looked the child couldn’t take his eyes off of what was on the canvas, as if he knew, he has been there… if he could formulate the words of what each line was saying. I enjoyed how intently this little fuck stared at it. Decoding it, before the “rules of society” become a burden,  a free mind. I put up my canvas changed my shirt grabbed some agua and came back to the festival, i watched some type of Polynesian  Warrior dance,  it was interesting, put an idea in my head for travel. To leave this land known as “America” i met an artist by the name of Charles who shared the process of making a bronze sculpture, and after that i had perhaps the most interesting conversation that i have had in a long while with an lady by the name of Sheila, we spoke of the nature of things. It was time to head back to downtown so i could paint but along the way… cops happened…

I have been listening to the audiobook The New Jim Crow, some of the shit i had known, but other shit… nope! And when this little encounter with the cops happened i was like oh i know this, This is from chapter blah. There were three cops, one stayed in his backseat with the door propped open for what i assumed “just incase we have a rowdy nigger on our hands” and the other two were on either side… let’s go back, i was about to pull over for a 15 minute nap, for i do not drive when i am tired, but he said i didn’t use my signal when getting over and i was like “oh… okay nigga, i know this game” and he proceeded to tell me to go stand on the sidewalk and interlace my fingers behind my head as the patted me down which was unneeded, i was wearing tight ass jeans that irritate me at times and no shirt, cause the weather is nice... nigga where am i hiding shit but i kept it chill, and half way through their procedures he asked if he could grab the wallet off my seat and i was like uh… and he said well you’re on probation we can i suppose do what we want.. Oh don’t get pulled over in Yosemite National Park with mushrooms in sight, i mean i don’t think of them as a drug cause it’s a fucking mushroom! But he grabbed my wallet and they proceeded to write down all my information, and i started talking “i’ve been reading up on the law, a lot of people don’t know their rights.” and the cop replied “well it’s mostly misunderstandings with the law.” to which i thought… “whatever ever nigga.” as this conversation continued i glanced over at his cohorts the one in the sunglasses was peaking in my car trying to see something but all he could see was paintings, paint and a camera or two… bet that shit ruffled his jimmies. And the cop was like what do you do, i said I’m a comedian or an artist, and his tune changed a little bit he, then asked where i last performed and i told him Petie’s place in the valley. I should pulled out the laundry list of mics, but i kept it simple, then these mother fuckers packed up and vanished into the daylight, probably to go pull over another fellow that “fit the description.”  I just was like, well that happened. I could’ve had an encounter like the skinny nigga from earlier.

I parked my car and stopped by my usual coffee spot, spoke with another artist about just doing shit, then off to the gym to clear my mental. Once at the gym, i got a message from my friend NoFire who i went to Death Valley with and it read “ Having a BBQ tonight at 1800” any chance to escape LA I will… well for the most part, i’m starting to Love This place. I started the day in the “Hood” and ended it in the High Desert drinking with Marines, a doctor, a fellow who brewed his own beer which was the FUCKING SHIT! Oh and i forgot to add Brisket. The high desert was a sweet escape to get out of the energy of la and look up and see the stars and to enjoy the quite… And from just going to the BBQ i decided to change shit in my life stay tune.

Solo In The Valley Of Death

I just got off the phone with my folks and my pops said something to me that i forget from time to time... "Make sure you have fun." i get so caught up in trying to make money to support the way i live that i get irritated, but fuck it, i'd much rather be free than doing that shit that irritates me... 

The first trip to Death Valley took place in march the second just a few weeks later still in march but I had to Venture to Vegas for a comedy show. I can say walking around Las Vegas not under the allure of the lights was quite interesting, I still thought about tossing one of the working girls some money for a mouth hug, but i did not for i was unhappy with my set. I Parted ways with an old high school friend that let me crash at his casa, beat my ass in Chess repeatedly and took me to FukuBurger (which i recommend you stuff in your mouth hole) then to a korean bbq joint which was not my favorite. But it made me feel as if i was not in "america" due to the fucking K-pop videos which were playing the whole time which is odd.. .I can say that k-pop is not for me and i will look at any one who is not Korean questionably if they say they love it... i give zero fucks... (there will be typos)

The Goal was to hit the Trail of Giants in in the Sequoia National Forrest, NoBS told me to check the roads for closures when I asked what the road was called, I did. The site said there are some road closures... "some" did not say which roads were closed. So i set had it set, back highway through Nevada, stop at Rhyolite(old mining town) cut through Death Valley then more back high ways to the destination. I can say it was quite the journey, The Things Eye saw...

As I was heading up highway 95, I stopped at an Area 51 gas station and connected to that gas station was a brothel, and the brothel said "free tours." and I sat there and debated about it for a second then I thought, "i'm just going to be pissed that i didn't go give it a peek" i walked in and was greeted an older lady and she rang a bell and two ladies can... one a short anglo girl with long dark hair to her shoulders wearing a hoody and a shirt, she was in straight chill mode, i would've probably kicked it with her outside of the house of debauchery, the other a woman who looked to be a latina wearing a red fishnet dress over a red thong and bra, and i can say her breast were about the size of my head... The woman said pick.. and i was like  the fuck? i didn't want to pick but i just pointed at  the woman in red.. knowing i should have chose the other, she gave me the tour showed me her room and was like you want to party... to which i replied... "Nope! i've got to get back on the road." I went to the gas station bought some string cheese and headed out...

The detour to Rhyolite added and extra 2 to 3 hours to the trip, but i wasn't tripping, i wanted to see shit, and see shit i did.

 

After Rhyolite I took 95 to 373 to CA 190 which cuts through Death Valley the sun was setting at this time and to be honest shit was beautiful and i should not have waited this long to write about it, the photographs will show you what my words do not, for i am an asshat that is becoming distracted.

I pulled off the road of 190 just to stop and look around. I was once again in a bowl... to the Northeast were the Mesquite Flat Dunes and i could see a plume of dust kicking up in the distance, it was a site to see. I turned off my car and just stood there in the middle of the road... listening. it was silent, the stillness. NOT ONE FUCKING SOUND. It was like an LSD Trip without being an LSD Trip. i then drove to the dunes parking lot and and ventured out into the dunes, i forgot my scarf which would've been pretty fucking helpful at the time, for the wind was becoming more violent by the minute, as if the desert was speaking, saying "it's time for you leave, i must cleanse myself of humans for the day." i Stood there atop a dune and just watched as the massive cloud of dust got closer and closer. At that point i made up my mind that i am not moving the Focus, it will sit here all night. I started the trek back to the parking lot and looked back at my foot prints to see with each step i took they were being erased. As the grains of sand and time played along the dune telling me in a blink i'll be gone. We all will be. I get back to the focus and the wind is rocking it so i just climb in the back seat and chill was the Earth rotated until Sol was out of view. Then There was Darkness... but light from the past was still visible. i was able to look up and see the Universe, and then my thoughts started to get weird... it was as if it were a lucid dream.

I kept walking up with vision of creatures fucking with my car, so i would crack the door a little to peak out to ensure i didn't invite the dust storm in, although it still ventured in a little. I sat and thought. I was then transported to a place where massive things walked by me as if i were not there and one moved through me and i felt my heart sink, I have to say i did not enjoy that feeling, not one bit it almost reminded me of the dream i had when i first ventured to LA... Then I thought about her, and i had a vision of her looking at me and not knowing who am and again a feeling that i did not enjoy cam over my body. It was as if i was in the past, present and the future at once. I can try to explain it better, but i do not feel like it, maybe with more caffeine i will... but this is where i leave you. There is shit to do. 

Death In the Valley Pt Trios

     I was awoken as I started to roll down the back of the tent and down the hill, I caught myself to keep from going further. I could hear the wind howling and and see the top of the tent flexing from the power of it. As i braced myself against the front of the tent and laid there to keep it from blowing away i thought about that can. was it still there, resting perfectly as i was struggling to keep my tent from becoming Mary Poppins. While the wind howled i could hear a sound of a donkey every so often and thought "you fucking ass." Morning Came fairly quickly but not quick enough for i was tired of holding the tent in place, when I vacated the the Tent,  NoBs, K-dot and crash were already up, NoBS stated how he saw the dust storm roll in past the tress and how they then vanished, he then said "I thought you and your tent blew away." something about the night of donkeys being assholes and the wind attempting to dismount me from my spot made me wake up in more of a Fuck it mood than usual. We Load up, get the early dose of drugs(coffee) they deflate the tires for easier navigation along the "Tricky Part" of the pass and we set off... 

     NoBs Passes Crash and lets the raptor be a raptor as we haul ass down this dirt road with dips and a few turns, we make it out to the main dirt road in no time, it took a fraction of the time making it back than going to. Crash maneuvers the 4-Runner back in front of us and he is fucking gone and the Raptor with us in it follows suit, a well built machine it was/is designed for this shit, I look up at the speedometer to see 80 mphs down this dirt road then it happened.. .A dip with another dip and uno mas which launched us into the air, it seemed for as we were in the air things slowed rapidly the thoughts, why did it just get so quiet, are we not on land, this is fun." the we land the Raptor absorbs everything perfectly... and we continue to haul ass down the road like "FUCK IT!" I forgot to mention that Crash and NoBs Have walkies to communicate for cellular devices are fucking pointless where we were and come to think of it, they are fucking pointless at almost every campsite i have ever been to.. We come to the next road which would lead us to the LippinCott Pass and Death on the left if memory serves me right. He stops the Off-Road People mover so i can take a photo...  Then we proceed to haul ass yet again. We reach the pass, and the entrance is tight(haaa) and has a tricky angle to it. Crash goes through and instructs NoBs to follow his path, he didn't but I am here typing so it worked out, and while we were going through this I was in the back seat with no seatbelt on, struggling to pull it, but it kept locking, so i looked at the side where shit could go sideways and once again said "fuck it! If i die, i die." and i thought to myself if this shit rolls over i will position my head to where it gets crushed, a quick death, just accepting the fact that it could end at that moment. All this with in two hours of being awake. A quote i heard which is very true to me "sometimes, Do Not Die, should be on the to do list" Let's me know i am actually living one day i may cross that line but at least I'll be doing what i want. I mean we're all going to die anyways.. We head up a few more switchbacks climbing in elevation Then we hear the voice of crash come through the radio, "I call this part Death on the left" which was a fucking good name if you asked me, the focus one has to have while driving this path has to be draining, for if you make the slightest of mistakes you're fucked. While going through Death On The left I climbed over to the left side of the truck so i could look at death which this time was dressed in a lovely damn near vertical drop into a valley. I held my arm and head out the window while recording it, it was quite the sight to see. After we round the next corner Crash comes through the radio again mentioning mines on the opposite side of the valley, right as i looked across again I thought of a reflection of a scope of a rifle trained on us. This time i say something, and we have a convo " Checkers says "hit the deck" and we chuckle, but at the position we were in, we would have been pretty fucked if that were the case, and depending who was behind the trigger. I doze off as we head towards the Race Track. 

   I awaken as we pull up to Tea Kettle Junction where Racetrack Valley rd meets  another which i do not know the name of. The stood a wooden sign with the obvious the words "Tea Kettle Junction"  where about fourteen tea kettles hung and one pot which read "where i'm from this is a tea kettle" and i agreed and laughed. The sign gained a kettle that day as Crash and K-dot left one behind. I snapped a few photos then we set off for the The Race Track. I honestly had no fucking clue what Crash was speaking off when he mentioned the racetrack i was just down to experience and see as much as i could. As we got to the Race Track i could see it was flat as fuck, and i got a feeling as if i had been there before, it reminded me of the dream with how it was. I had seen photos on reddit ages ago about the Race Track about the moving rocks and nobody knows why they move. Crash said the ground freezes and the wind blows the rocks across. The rocks are not small either, but i say the rocks move because they chose to go on an adventure. We walked out onto the playa and I thought this would be a nice place to enjoy some mushrooms. It was a magical place one i hope to venture back to with said mushrooms and do yoga naked on the playa as the rocks continue on their adventure through the galaxy in which they know as, well i do not know what the rock would call the playa for i did not ask it, so rude of me to assume. I get photographs and take a video of the the Racetrack, i should mention the wind was blowing fairly hard kicking dust but none of us seem to give a fuck. i would say we were there for about ten to fifteen minutes before we loaded back into the Off-road people movers.

      Next stop was to see the Ubehebe Crater. We drive then we hit pavement and i was a little bit irritated for I liked being on the unpaved path, Crash said "that's how you see Death Valley!" he was fuckin right! His voice comes across the radio once again and he said over those hills off in the distance is the crater.  I looked at the black hills in the distance, i was not impressed but i was not disappointed with the view either, i was just taking it all in, we go around a curve in the road then that is when i saw it, I believe i actually said "wow" aloud, and not many things make me say that, seeing Half Dome at Yosemite i said it, a womans smile at a mic in LA.. but this crater, it actually fucked with my head for a second, for the hills were not that big but there were hiding this huge hole with was just there. I didn't even say wow when i saw the Grand Canyon I just looked at it then got distracted by all the fucks taking selfies so i took a nap on the edge. We parked and got out, the wind was blowing even harder at the crater, I attempted to walk up to the edge and was pushed back immediately, but again none of us were to be denied shit (except desert titties and mushrooms)... i walk down a ways and lay on the black volcanic sands as the sun warmed me and the wind massaged me. I could've laid there for hours. I wanted to walk down to the bottom to get that perspective but that will be another trip i do that. We Load up again and head off, we stop not to far from the crater so the tires can be aired back up for road travel. i ventured off over the hill to take a piss and i found a little tree, shrub... plant life which again spoke to me, some of my pee got on it for i was pissing into the wind but this plant... I used the last shot i had on the 35mm on it, and snapped a few more with the nikon before heading down and getting photos of the gang while they weren't paying attention. But one person i was not able to get in the photos was K-dot for she was elusive at the moment and she got a photo of me laying in the middle of the road which i will frame one day and hang so she gets a painting.

     We end up at Forty Niner Cafe for a proper feast, we talk share the footage we got and enjoy the overly priced burgers, but i'm not bitch for they were good. This is when we parted ways, Crash and K-dot ventured off to see more and we were to head back to civilization... people... on the way back we stopped on the side to refuel (jerry cans are useful, invest) and down the stretch the Raptor stretched its legs and hit triple digits and before we left NoBs's place he mentioned hitting 100 in Death Valley, mark that off the list. On the way back we were all more talkative, I mean if you go to the middle of nowhere and death could be around any switchback, or getting air and you don't land flush shit could end, you form a bond with people. People I could call friends, i hope they would consider me the same. One topic of conversation was HitchHiker's Guild to the Galaxy which was a DAMN GOOD BOOK! The Movie not so much for me although it was good.  We get back to Victorville and each of us orders a Pizza for ourselves and feast while watch Prometheus. Checkers and myself got a chance to talk, and i hand him my one of my sketchbooks to look at. We get back on the topic of Hitchhiker's Guide and he "says maybe you didn't like the movie for it wasn't up to your expectations of your imagination." and I just sat there and let that steep into my mind for a bit. We then went to see Logan but i ran to my car to eat a small very small piece of edible first... cause WHY NOT!?! Movie was alright i suppose( i was in my head questioning myself for the first thirty minutes), on the way back NoBs said "Thank you guys for being calm on those trails, it helped me stay focused." which sparked me to set off into a short monologue "Panicking would not have solved shit man, there is no time to be afraid of shit when shit is on the line, there is no time for fear, i figured if we died well that was it." There is NO TIME FOR FEAR! we go back to his place and i have a few more slices left and i feast. I watch a few clips of us getting air that NoBs captured on the go-pro(i need to invest in one) and the i passed out.

    Back to L.A... back to the horns and people running around doing it is what people do but who am I? I'm just an Observer that partakes in whatever i choose to partake in, I feel i have a slight problem for if it isn't dangerous or the risk of failure or death is not there i do not really want to partake in it. Good thing Rock Climbing and surfing are now on my list of to do... along with do not become bear food and to get a photograph of a mountain lion on the Canon... so i'll have to be fairly close to it, if it were to attack we'll see what happens. I do not enjoy city life, I enjoy the quite of the country to where the city is an hour drive is perfect, I miss my woman back in Oklahoma the silence of the country with dogs barking and the occasional coyote yelling off in the distance the gravel drive way up to her house... the purple walls of her bedroom. But she isn't mine for you can never own anyone...

I went back to Death Valley I'll write about that in a weeks time. Enjoy the photos. 

There Is No Time for Fear
or what I like to Tell
Myself
"Don't Be A Bitch!"

Death In The Valley Pt Deux

... I'll pick up where I left you, Not as much caffeine but I did just get back from another trip to the desert so that will be in writing as well.  In a few weeks time. (3/29/17 round 2 of attempting to finish part deux, no caffeine yet, that'll change in a few minutes time.)

   . NoBS pulled the 4-Runner out and almost got stuck himself that would've been an interesting situation for about five minutes for the caretaker was just a short walk away, But both vehicles now free from the grip of the snow,but we were forced back the way we came to plot an alternative route, we were not to be denied shit, except mushrooms and any other type of pyscho-active medicine I was needing in my life.  Along the way I would get lost in my head a bit as NoBS and Checkers chatted in the front sit  about who knows what until i decided to climb out of the truck and start filming the road. Holding on with my left and filming with the right as we made our way through switchbacks and canyons of rocky goodness. As we got closer to the Saline Valley we encountered bikers that seemed to be peeved that they had to share the road,I have to tip my hat to them , in my head i was thinking (who da fuck rides a bicycle out here! obviously they did) 

   When we arrived at the Saline Valley it was much like being in a massive bowl, mountains on all sides a lake in the distance and open space for what seemed like days well if you were on foot, it would be days. As we were driving, all I could think of as my eyes scanned the landscape, is that would be a good place for a sniper to post up, why this thought popped into my head i do not know for I have no experience doing such, I just know a decent vantage point when I see one, but it was a reoccurring  thought for me, as if ideas for a town or settlement in a not far off dystopian future, or the vision of myself with a lady with short dark hair with sunglasses on walking atop a ridge behind me with a rifle, she stops aims and fires... then keeps moving(this shit keeps cycling in my mind along with standing upon a rubble of what use to be a building). Sorry, i got side tracked. The valley was nice, some would say nothing is there, but everything was there. Although it was nothing like the dream i had of the desert, it spoke to me. 

      Crash and NoBs stop to have a talk about the path to the Hot Springs, Crash was looking at the map and I snuck a few photos in, the candid shots are always the shots. For when one is aware, the moment is altered and i'm like fuck it. K-Dot handed me a bit of TP so i could go have bowel movement and she scampered off to take a piss, it was actually a piss stop for Checkers as well i made jokes as i let the log hit the desert floor. It was not the first time i defecated in nature, but it was the first time doing so in a desert, and i gently placed a rock on the log and buried the tp... i feel as if i should burnt it, but the damage has been done and i felt pretty good... we load the Vehicles up and set off...

    Crash and K-Dot went of towards the lake as the Raptor moved along the path to the hot spring, we drove miles before we saw the turn off. As we turned down the dirt road. We met fellow travelers, NoBs and Checkers were in the prime seats to see the show as the chatted with the driver in the other car(truck i do not believe a car could make that journey... well, time for me to find out). I could make out the woman in the passenger seat and the word out of my mouth were "yo, is she topless?" I wanted to see but i was not about to leave a comfortable position to gander at a woman being free, instead i just imagined them and looked back out to the landscape. (i was deined the desert titties.) As we approached the Hot Springs one could spot the trees from a distance, it was an actual Oasis. I remember seeing shit like that in cartoons and hearing myths about Oasis' in film in what not, but seeing it with my own eyes was like "Word, so this shit is dope!"   

     There were warm springs towards the front of the campsites and 3/4 of a mile back were the hot springs, and where there is geothermal activity a settlement can be placed, but why would one want to place a settlement in that particular location? It would be ruining a part of nature depending upon how one would go about doing so.I feel i am giving too much away. We all walk towards the hot springs, spaced out and me lost in my head once again. As we could see the two pools in the distance, one had two gents in it, one who happened to be standing up and naked the other sitting and enjoying the hot water i suppose. Naturally we chose the vacant pool. Crash and K-dot seem to be the only ones ready for the water for she had a bikini and he had board shorts, Checkers said fuck it and cut some pants into shorts and NoBs said fuck it to another level just hopped in, in his briefs.  In hindsight, the old man standing naked in the spring probably had the trinity of psychedelics(medicine). The Conversation went from Crash complimenting K-dots ass while NoBS said "i can always see a nice ass, I don't always get to see this." which is true, but then again she had a really nice ass. As they chatted i looked off in the distance and spotted three people walking into the desert and i lifted my hands as if there was a rifle in it and i was looking through a school. I do not know why it just happened, I did not think about it, i just moved without thinking. Then i proceeded to ask the Group about guns, all had wealth of knowledge on the topic. I suppose the questions came out need/want to go hunting. To experience it, to see if i could actually provide for the lady if I had to. Necessity, which to me being able to survive without society is one. 

       We walked back to the off-road people movers to set up the campsite, and i was preparing to walk off into the desert to get weird and maybe howl. Crash called my attire Mad Max gear which was appropriate, minus the fact I did not have silver spray paint to huff and scream Witness Me! but I set off towards the lake knowing i would not reach it before darkness fell upon the entire valley.  

       Once away from the Oasis, I heard nothing, the stillness of the desert. I stood there and just looked around as the colors of the sunset over the mountains to the West, The blues, oranges, purples and pinks came out to play as i stood there motionless it made me think of Miles Davis as the song Pharaoh's Dance streamed through my thoughts. It is a feeling being in a place that silent, every so often the silence would be broken by the sound of a Donkey in the distance. I continued to move and i came across a can, a can i still think of to this day. It was just sitting there perfectly placed. Who placed it there, and out of all the paths i could have chose i picked this one which led me to this can. i took a few photos a left it were it sat to either be blown away or rust and go back to the earth... The rest of the walk was fairly uneventful. I returned to the campsite, the fire was going They were chilling  talking seem to be having a good time, i stuffed my face at sat there. 

        NoBS went to bed in the Raptor early, Checkers was in his seat dozing off and crash recommended he hit the sack. It was Crash, K-dot, myself and a Russian fellow named Mike, who told us stories of his childhood, one of which that stuck in my head is "We found a gerenade in the woods so we took the pin out and threw it and it hit a boat( or yacht) and sank it." and i was like damn! Y'all niggas were on another level. Mike lived an interesting life for sure and he found his way to the desert to i guess unwind or maybe he offed someone and was getting rid of the body. but i did not get that vibe. And when he said his name was Mike, all i could think was "Bullshit! your fucking name is Igor or Ivan."  At one point he mentioned the words 'Confirmed Killer" and my an K-dots eyes met each other as i then looked at Crash who was focused on Mike. for some reason that stuck out in my head like he deduced in a matter of seconds that Igor Mike was no threat, it was an interesting take or maybe i am projecting and I am always in the thought of 'Lull your counterpart to comfort then....." this is why i always put myself in uncomfortable situations so i know how to react when shit happens, there is no time to panic or think... You just have to move.  I need to not be that way and think that there is a threat for 98% of the time in america there is not. people walk around in a hypnotized state. I am off track.  I venture to my tent and attempt to pass out.

   I don't know how much time elapse when I  heard the bellow of a fucking donkey as if it were in the tent with me, I laid there looking at the top of the tent wondering what donkey over campfire taste like and each though was interrupted by another donkey making ridiculous donkey noise. Do these asses not know what time it is, of course not they have no concept or give a fuck about it, or i like to think they were fucking with us because it was funny to them. I pass back out.   

 This is where I leave you, installment Trios will conclude Death in The Valley and I shall Get all The Photos from the adventure posted in that. 

Death In The Valley Pt Un

       It was 12:26 in the after noon on March 3rd when i sent the message "Might you have any caps you could toss my way." Then ten minutes later i sent a message that said " Actually, I am good." but I would be a fucking liar if i said i did not want to get some mushrooms and walk off in to the desert to be alone with the stillness of a valley of nothingness whilst filled with everything. This trip to Death Valley was sponsored by alcohol, caffeine and adrenaline. I should've got the fucking mushrooms, but then that would've altered the trip(haaaa trip.)

Too Much fucking caffeine, i should find another substance to abuse.

       We left Victorville around 10:45 pm in a Ford Raptor to head to where we were going to meet up with the other folks of this weekend of adventure. When I say we, this includes NoBS a native fellow who stands about 5'8" and built to fuck shit up, as in you probably would not want to get on his bad side for the nigga could probably end your shit with the quickness and he was a Marine as well so, yeah, shit would be ended, the other fellow Checkers was a bigger fellow standing about 6'2 and about three bills. We drove three hours no music just conversation and me drifting off in to my head from time to time. We stopped at a small gas station in the middle of who the fuck knows it made me feel like I was back in the country, familiar feelings of unknown people and a different way of life, NoBS filled up the the truck and Fuel Canisters as Checkers and myself ventured inside to see a pitbull just chillin on the floor like "y'all niggas look as if you need caffeine and beef jerky" i was obviously projecting. I don't know why the pit sitting there threw me for a loop, when I am currently in a city where Fucks ask to bring their dogs in restaurants and get upset when denied. But the Pit in a small gas station in the middle of somewhere made so much sense, but it didn't. I'm sure the little old white haired lady behind the counter had a shotgun she knows how to handle along with a handgun. Made me feel like i was home, but she was not with me. We load up and leave.      
       

        We come to a dirt road some time between 1 a.m. and 2 a.m. there was a vehicle waiting with an L.E.D Light stripe on the top and a lights on waiting for us. We pull up and the words that I can make out are "Just ride my bumper as close as possible and keep up." I could see a beer can in his hand and NoBS said something i can not remember what and the response from the female passenger was "JUST DO IT YOU PUSSY!" and they took off down a gravel road kicking up rocks and dust. These niggas were hauling ass which was impressive but I was in the back seat of the truck like "the fuck, how are we suppose to see" but it was simple enough just follow the fucking road... It is a good thing we did not ride the bumper up the back road which was filled with sharp turns and  rock faces on both sides but after ten to twenty minutes of driving UP the winding mountain pass we arrived at Campsite number 1. Which was open, nothing to block the wind except the two vehicles, but if you're going to camp, well you can not be a bitch and complain about the weather. If you're going to bitch about the weather then life must be great (i mean it is but really?) you just deal with it and have another glass of wine and look up at the night sky as the fire dances and provides you with all the warmth you need. 

        We start to unload the Raptor, I grab my tent which is rated for four people but i enjoy my space and the air mattress had to fit so.(i'll invest in a smaller one soon). I toss it on the ground and introduce myself to the Co-pilot of the 4-Runner, she reminded me of a lady i use to know very well back in  Oklahoma City, a lady in which we shared some great nights, some fueled by alcohol, cocaine and LSD, but that is another story. The Co-Pilot seem to have some native features to me and at this point of the morning she was anti-sober her name is K-Dot, The driver of the 4-runner was locked in Conversation with NoBS so I took to setting up my temporary dwelling for the night. Whilst setting up  up, I hear a voice say "What's the story on this one?" NoBS says "ask him yourself." the driver of the 4-Runner was a thin fellow with eyes that said "yo, i have seen some shit and have been through some shit." he too, was a Marine named Crash. i struggle to set the tent up do to the rock in which i was attempting to hammer the stakes through. A few moments later the tent was set up, mattress aired up and it was time for some sort of intoxication. There were plenty of options, Gentlemen Jack, coors, reds and of course a bottle of Merlot. I grabbed the Merlot and started to indulged. I stood by the fire and looked up and said "Damn I should brought some shrooms" to which K-Dot responded with "HELL YEAH!" the conversation danced with the fire. NoBs recommended i go to the top of the hill to get away from the fire and look up, i grabbed the Nikon and did so, then It was time  for sleep.

    I was awoken by the roar of an engine, the words "oh fuck" just came so naturally out of my mouth as i climbed out the slipping bag to see that i was not being left and NoBS was just warming his truck(his tent.) Crash and K-Dot were already up. He proceeded to make fun of me for lack of damage i did not do to the wine bottle. The Earth was rotating so the "sunrise" was a few minutes away and i was finally able to check out the surroundings and see how high up we actually were, thousands of feet were climbed on that night drive. Below there was a town, it looked tiny, like a town for ants, there was a lake off in the distance which looked to be surrounded by salt flats and on the far side of the valley  a mountain range for as far as the eye could see. Where we were posted up had a very hills have eyes vibe and there were mines around but who gives a shit about a inbred hill person when there is a view like that. We Pack up after coffee and wine( NoBS and Checkers help polish off the bottle before the drive) and head towards an old mining town called Cerro Gordo Ghost Town, which was i do not know how many more thousands or hundreds of feet of elevation. 

   As we rounded the bend, the gravel road slowly became a gravel and snow covered road as we pull up to the Ghost Town which is watched by an old man on the mountain by the name of Robert. He told us the history of the mining town, took us from building to building to building in the general store there was a wood burning stove which caught my attention, it still had plenty of life left in it. It Was built to last, funny the things that people notice, like what speaks to you.  We then ventured to another building where the snow came to midcalf if you broke the top layer, then to the hotel. I could try to explain this hotel but I'll allow the photos to do the talking. Robert told us of how he got snowed in for fourteen days before, part of me wonders what that feels like and the other part is like you know what, i think i am god on that experience, maybe one day i'll venture to a mountain town like Flagstaff for a winter and get snowed in with mushrooms. We helped Robert unload his truck in exchange for some fired wood. Then attempted to set off on another pass, within the first hundred feet the 4-Runner got stuck it was the snow had grabbed his tires and said "nigga you ain't going nowhere!"....

Part Un.... The introduction

The Dream before the Trip...

It has been 5 months since I've left Oklahoma city, my family, the lady I love... loved. It has been five months since I left everything i know, packed up my car(light speed vehicle)and came to LA LA Land the place where dreams come true( and other cliche bullshit), but i came out here to learn and get better at "my craft" then bounce the fuck out something i forget from time to time.

Within two weeks of being here I had a dream which took place in a white futuristic modern home type dwelling with massive windows on all sides which was located in the desert (don't know which desert or if it was even on earth but it felt so real, more real than some of the interactions i've had in life... but what is real?) , It was my friend James, myself and this woman with caramel skin with long dark hair and i can not remember if she was naked or not(but it did not matter). In the dream I remember following her out into the desert as some sort of sand storm was happening,and there were these orbs or portals emitting this bright light of  blues with hints of purple (words can not describe how beautiful it was, almost like the purples and blues i saw my first DMT experience). She turned to me and kissed me on the lips and said, "it's like they're trying to steal our souls." at that point in time I felt my heart sink and i woke up in a panic, like what the fuck! I have to go to the Desert as soon as possible and get the fuck out of hollywood...

Walking into the desert with the Holy Trinity of Psychedelics has been something on my mind for awhile i could say, we all have our paths, maybe mind is to be deprived of my sanity for the Nth time the to come back and create something the world has never seen... but it has, we have just forgotten. I do not know if this makes sense and I don't really give a fuck if it does... But I went to the desert, without shrooms, dmt, or lsd, and i found something. Next time i go back something is coming with me. I'll write about The Death Valley adventure in a few days time. 

sidenote: City of Angels, i can say I have seen Two Angels, one i see a bit, it is when you look to see the best in people you see the beings of light they truly are.. some are still piles of steaming shit, but that is for them to fix. or it could be what frequency am i tuning into to? Are you free to move as you please through this thing called life? If not, why?

venmo:ChandlerMWatson 

Truth: If You Had 24 hours to live, What would you do?

I'd much rather write this under the influence of some type of fun(drug) but seeing as how that is frowned upon by cunts and the fact I forgot to buy a bottle of wine tonight. I'm forced to go start my car in the garage, stomp the gas pedal to the floor and huff as much car farts as possible... hold on i'll be write back(see what i did there?)...

Awhile back I purchased a pack of Wrigley's 5 Cobalt gum to keep my mouth from smelling like a bag of assholes. I happened to grab the TRUTH OR DARE pack and didn't think anything of it. Like truth or dare isn't fun if you play it by yourself, but seeing as how i do everything by myself I figured why the fuck not. So on this particular gum wrapper that is laid out in front of me has two dares and one truth. The Truth being the title of this very blog. I've had this wrapper sitting on my TV stand for the last 2 months just thinking about what i would do if i had 24 hours left before i kicked rocks. 

I would probably start the day by walking outside naked with my morningwood and doing jumping jacks until i got tried of my hangdown slapping against my tummy, if my neighbors were outside, well i'd just stare them right in the eyes until they either got naked and joined me or called the cops. I would then host a massive cookout with friends and family and i would make the most excellent ribs anyone has ever grilled and after everyone was done eating i would tell them that i made love to every single piece of meat. I'm willing to bet that half the people there would think that i beat off all of the meat(which might be a good way to marinate them) but by making love to the meat i mean something else, something i'm not willing to explain.

After spending time with the fam and friends i would go do what i love to do, which is pack up my backpack, roll three joints, drive somewhere, park my car and just venture off into the woods for an hour or two with my camera. After the camera fun time i would drive to the nearest open mic or show and kick whoever is on stage off so that i could say the following "I like weed, shrooms and on occasion LSD and if you have a problem well you can suck my cock!" I would proceed to say "Welcome to the world... where you aren't free to be you, but you can be who we want you to be.. What's that? you want to live free? No, No, no not here buddy! you can live as free as we want you to live," Then i would proceed to throw some type of line crossing period pussy joke(because I CAN) or some type of joke about shitting on Mary Fallins face(because She is a CUNT she could be a nice person but i don't think so(my opinion))... and at the end i would probably rap A Tribe Called Quest or a Kanye West song and top it off with a poem about love. (i bet you want to know the poem)

I would then drive to this girl's job whom i told i loved and got the response "why" and ask for the shirt back just to wipe my ass with it and hand it back to her, i would then go to another girl whom i also told i loved and make it very clear that i confused lust for love, then i would drive to the third girls, a girl i got some flowers for when i was jobless and broke(shouldn't have wasted my money) and i would shit on the ground and say there are your flowers. After that i give my car to a person that needed it more than i and i would probably eat about two handfuls of shrooms and a few tabs of LSD... i mean if i'm gonna die i'm not gonna die sober. Am i joking?

That last paragraph is a maybe, I know one thing I would do is find that girl I met in the summer and put a child in her. I mean, i would put in that your getting pregnant on these three pumps and i'd leave a letter to my unborn child. A letter i thought about sharing but i'm not going to. But i would definitely share a joint with this chick and i would give her my camera as well... sometimes i'm a sappy bitch. I can't help that.

enjoy some tacos.... bitchessssssss and spread the love 

It is now April 26, 2015 and if i had 24 hours to live i would simple do whatever the fuck I want, all that shit i wrote in January goes by the way side... well most of it. I would problem eat shrooms and lsd at the same time and while on said funs i would then set a few houses on fire and and just sit outside and watch as the flames dance with each other. i would then attempt to drive to the grand canyon and then drive my car off the edge and jump out right as it goes over... not to try to stop myself from going over but to see if i can beat it to the bottom in a race which happens to be gravity assisted.